Are women looking for a protective man today?

The better question is what type of women want a protective man? what is the profile of woman who would choose a protective man as a mate?

First let’s ask the question what do women want in a man in general. According a general survey conducted in 2018 this is what women want:

• Kindness – 88.9%
• Supportive – 86.5%
• Intelligence – 723%
• Education – 64.5%
• Confidence – 60.2%

And, according to the same survey, women were not particularly fond of the following qualities in a man:

• Ambition – 52.1%
• Financial Security – 44.2%
• Attractive Face – 41.3%
• Assertiveness – 37%
• Attractive Body – 22.3%

I have to note here that the survey above is for women who want a partner for a long-term relationship. Results for casual relationship will differ. Women, according to this survey, are not interested in men who spend a lot of energy proving how strong, manly, macho, and heroic they are.

Qualities Of A Protective Man

Having seen what women want in general, let us now turn our attention to see what characteristic do the protective man possess. What does such man offer to the women?

• Sense of security: like physical and emotional security
• Emotional support: make their partner feel understood and care for during trying times.
• Stability: in his life, which of course make him more attractive as a long-term partner.
• Traditional values: particularly when it comes to gender roles, where he will take on the role of provider.
• Empathy and understanding: he is perceived as more understanding than other men, since he pay closer attention to their partner needs and well-being.

Note that this is not an exhaustive list of the qualities of protective men. How does this list compare with qualities that women say they want above? We can see that there is a lot of overlap between the two lists.

But at which point does the protectiveness morphed into a controlling behavior? Is there not a danger that the protective man show of attention might just mask his need to control his partner? This is something that a woman who want a protective man must watch for, and be able to discern between protectiveness and abusive control.

Profile Of Women Who Want A Protective Man

So what is the profile of a woman who will go for a protective man? Probably a woman who has one or a combination of the following characteristics:

• Traditional values: more attached to traditional gender roles.
• Troubled past experiences: in a situation where abuse is part of a woman past, she might find some sense of security in a protective man.
• Strong silent type: Women who like those men.
• Cultural influences: A woman culture might make her amenable to accept a man who is protective.
• Parental model: a woman trying to emulate her parent’s marriage, might chose to go for a protective man.
• Most likely not feminist: I do not see a radical feminist going for a protective man, after all down with the patriarchy is the rallying cry.

One thing I notice is that in the qualities that women think are less important, those are the same qualities that men put a premium on developing. Qualities like ambition, financial security, attractive body those are qualities that are important to men, furthermore I cannot understand how those qualities will not factor in a woman decision to choose a long-term partner. This is one of the reason I take those survey with a grain of salt.

When we look at data from dating apps, such as OK Cupid, we can see that the more handsome a man is, the more likely he is to find a match. Being kind, supportive, educated, intelligent will not get you very far with today’s women, since none of those qualities comes through in pictures. In today’s dating scene being good looking will give you a leg up on the competition for female attention particularly in the dating apps.

Conclusion: Women want a protective man

So what is the verdict? Given the overlap between the qualities of a protective man, and what women want according to the survey, I would venture to say that a great number of women, particularly the non political ones, would definitely go for a protective man. For the political ones it would depend on their political leaning. If she is a left-leaning, feminist she will probably not go for such a man, but if she is right-leaning or centrist she might go for such a man.

What do you think? Do women want a protective man in this day and age? Let me know in the comments section below.